Blinded by Denial
During a women's conference, I heard a speaker's testimonial about her abusive marriage. I trembled and cried
as I related to every detail of her experience. Her words confirmed my deepest fear--abuse also resided in my home.
Denial of the facts had protected me from facing difficult emotions for many years, but now the reality of abuse in my marriage surfaced. As confusion mixed with fear and sadness bombarded my heart, my rose colored glasses fell away and revealed the ruins of my life. Nobody would believe me if I shared my experiences. My husband, charismatic and successful, portrayed the image of the ideal man pictured in every woman's dreams.
What is Denial?
Denial, a common coping mechanism, protected me from pain. By ignoring the overwhelming evidence I'd seen in behaviors and scary experiences, I avoided difficult emotions. I could not face the shame of a failed marriage. While dysfunction was obvious to my children and others who truly had my best interests at heart, I created a false reality by pretending everything was fine. Before I married, one friend had warned me that my husband had anger issues.
I refused to accept the truth and dismissed her exhortation, swept off my feet by his flattery.
Cry for Help.
As guilt (common for victims) gripped my heart, I looked toward heaven. "God, what should I do? Will You help me?"
God Heard. God Answered.
In the midst of my desperation, God's still small voice pierced the silence.
"I see your troubles, and I feel your pain. Disappointment after disappointment dashed the high hopes you had for your marriage. I promise to shield your heart from fear and give you courage as you face the truth. With your veil of denial now lifted, My work to restore your soul can begin. No situation is too big for my power to change. I will make a way, even though right now there seems to be no way."
"As you begin this journey of recovery, I will blanket you with My love and tender care. Trust Me to lead you on a new path
to heal your brokenness and rebuild your life. As you turn your focus from your daily troubles toward Me, I will guide you.
For I know the plans I have for you--plans for a good future filled with hope. So, take My hand precious daughter. With Me at your side as your strong foundation, you will soon thrive."
Seek God with All Your Heart
Has your heart quickened reading this blog? Who has broken your heart? What are the circumstances and problems you've endured? What resources could provide support as you face the harsh possibility of abuse in your own life?
As you reach out to God for help, He promises to provide a lamp to your feet and a light for your path.
Starting today,
won't you please join me in seeking God's answers as you take baby-steps forward? Nothing is too difficult for Him.
Dear God, with Valentine's Day around the corner, I'm supposed to feel happy. Instead, disenchantment floods my mind, because I don't have a man to love me. Heart-shaped balloons and fancy decorated cupcakes haunt me at the grocery store. Ads for gifts flood social media. Even Seven-Eleven sells roses for last-minute lovers. The office provides no solace. Excited women gather to chat and giggle about upcoming dates, romantic dinners and jewelry they hope to receive. Cards and flowers adorn every desk except mine. When I arrive home from work, no one greets me--silence and darkness await. Who cares that I'm late? Who knows if I'm sick or sad? Who shares my sorrows and joys? It's not that I don't want someone to love. You know I've tried to develop meaningful relationships, but in the end nothing lasts except disappointment. God, my loneliness screams louder than the annoying buzz of the refrigerator keeping me company at night. God, what am I to do? Samantha My Dear Samantha, I've seen your precious heart trampled and betrayed as you wonder if you will ever find a suitable husband. I know how living alone depresses you, especially on a Hallmark holidays such as Valentine's Day. When you arrive home from work downcast, although you don't see Me, I am waiting for you. On days your heart feels sick or empty, I offer you My compassions and tender care. In the night as tears soak your pillow, I wipe each one. Many women settle for mass-produced cards with sentiments that fade along with their relationships. But, I wrote you a treasure of love letters in the Bible to express My everlasting love for you. Samantha, My mind overflows with caring thoughts of you all the time, not merely one day of the year. Red balloons pop. Chocolates disappear. Pink. flowers wilt. But My faithful love remains with you for eternity. I know you need someone that's faithful and strong. If you give Me your undivided affection, I'll lavish you with My love until you believe that I am the One you're trying to find to fill the hole in your heart. Samantha, will you join Me for supper at My house on February 14 to share an appetizer of wine and bread? Will you be My forever Valentine? Love, God
Winding my way to God began when Daddy dropped me off at church.
I hate Christmas. When I think of celebrating, sadness wraps around me like a heavy, drab coat.
How could I stop the hurtful relationships? How could I overcome the heartache they caused?
I remember the first time I feared my husband . . .
Emotional abuse systematically wears away ones self-confidence and sense of worth.
My tumultuous emotions crashed like waves against boulders. Why do I feel beaten?
When I hear the news about the rapid spread of Coronavirus, anxiety grips my heart.
Feeling lonely hurts, but no matter how helpless and forgotten you feel, find hope here.
God, where are you in the midst of this pandemic?
