Loneliness

No Valentine

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 01:53:23 GMT

A Letter to God

Dear God, with Valentine's Day around the corner, I'm supposed to feel happy. Instead, disenchantment floods my mind, because I don't have a man to love me.

Heart-shaped balloons and fancy decorated cupcakes haunt me at the grocery store. Ads for gifts flood social media.

Even Seven-Eleven sells roses for last-minute lovers.

The office provides no solace. Excited women gather to chat and giggle about upcoming dates, romantic dinners and jewelry they hope to receive. Cards and flowers adorn every desk except mine.

When I arrive home from work, no one greets me--silence and darkness await. Who cares that I'm late? Who knows if I'm sick or sad? Who shares my sorrows and joys?

It's not that I don't want someone to love. You know I've tried to develop meaningful relationships, but in the end nothing lasts except disappointment. God, my loneliness screams louder than the annoying buzz of the refrigerator keeping me company at night. God, what am I to do?

Samantha

My Dear Samantha, I've seen your precious heart trampled and betrayed as you wonder if you will ever find a suitable husband. I know how living alone depresses you, especially on a Hallmark holidays such as Valentine's Day.

When you arrive home from work downcast, although you don't see Me, I am waiting for you. On days your heart feels

sick or empty, I offer you My compassions and tender care. In the night as tears soak your pillow, I wipe each one.

Many women settle for mass-produced cards with sentiments that fade along with their relationships. But, I wrote you a treasure of love letters in the Bible to express My everlasting love for you. Samantha, My mind overflows with caring thoughts of you all the time, not merely one day of the year.

Red balloons pop. Chocolates disappear. Pink. flowers wilt. But My faithful love remains with you for eternity.

I know you need someone that's faithful and strong. If you give Me your undivided affection, I'll lavish you with My love until you believe that I am the One you're trying to find to fill the hole in your heart.

Samantha, will you join Me for supper at My house on February 14 to share an appetizer of wine and bread?

Will you be My forever Valentine?

Love, God

Winding My Way to God

Tue, 25 Jan 2022 21:20:53 GMT

WINDING MY WAY TO GOD

When I was five years old, my Daddy dropped me off at church every Sunday morning. He went home to read the newspaper. One day I said, “Daddy, did you know big people could come to church, too?” The next Sunday, he joined me at that Methodist church where he soon became a member and leader in the congregation.

Daddy died when I was eight.

After Daddy died, Mother dragged me to church every Sunday. Always in a snit, she yelled about wearing the correct clothes—dress, gloves, hats, slips—in order to look perfect.

The Upward Climb

The following summer, she dropped me off at a Baptist church to attend Vacation Bible School. Feeling alone with no friends and abandoned in an unfamiliar setting, I cried. I recall seeing a picture of a man they called Jesus. I stood before Him mesmerized, transfixed, drawn to His kind face. I remember the hand-held fans on a popsicle stick with a picture of an old white, wooden church. Mother never forced me to return.

During middle school, Mother enrolled me in membership classes at the Methodist church, which I hated. The leaders talked about Jesus, a man who came back to life after he died. Why didn’t my Daddy come back to life and come home?

When the classes ended, I joined the church and received a Bible too hard to read much less understand. Since my gift served no other purpose for me, I used the pages to save a lock of my blond hair. In high school, Methodist Youth

Fellowship presented the next step. With no understanding of spiritual matters or boys, I hated attending those co-ed group meetings, too.

I left home and church to attend college. What a relief.

Still Climbing

I never once attended church in college. After graduation when I married, I needed a church and a minister to perform the ceremony. The campus chapel with an unknown pastor sufficed. After we had two daughters, we both felt the nudge to attending church to get our girls baptized. Why? I don’t know.

Both girls attended their pre-school, and the welcoming members included many young families similar to ours. I developed friendships with other young mothers and my husband joined the men’s softball team. I felt hopeful. We had found a place to belong. Until one note-worthy softball game. My husband, in a typical fit of rage, cussed out the preacher over a particular botched play. Shamed and embarrassed, we never returned to that church. The minister never called. We never discussed the incident. Years later, we divorced.

The Climb Gets Harder

As a single parent, after moving to another city, my daughters met Christian students in their high school and wanted to attend church, so I obliged. They gave me a Bible with my name engraved on the front. My older daughter asked, “Mom, what do you think church is all about?”

I said, “Values. Doing the right thing in life. Having good values.” She seemed to think I had missed the point.

I walked the lonesome valley for 40 years, from the time Daddy died.

My life became a tangled mess. To cope with layer upon layer of stressful emotional circumstances, I popped sleeping pills.

Nearly Falling

My health deteriorated. Facing an unexpected radical hysterectomy and unsuccessful hormone replacement therapy, I needed more sleeping pills. I reached my breaking point when the cardiologist called personally to reveal my scary diagnosis—ventricular tachycardia. I could drop dead any minute.

My broken heart required more sleeping pills.

Continuing To Climb

The following April, my precious older daughter joined a Christian club at the University of Florida. She asked if I would help with her assignment to share “The Four Spiritual Laws.” Always eager to support her educational endeavors, I met her on campus with a picnic lunch to share. As I spread out our meal, she handed me a small yellow booklet and instructed me to turn to the first page.

Nearing The Top

“God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life,” she said.

“Um, huh,” I replied.

“Man is sinful and separated from God,” she read.

“Oh”, I grunted.

“Jesus Christ is God’s only provision for man’s sin. He is the only way to God.”

“Hmm.”

“We must individually receive Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord.”

She pointed to a picture.

“These two circles represent two kinds of lives. One lifestyle, a self-directed life, does not include God. The other choice represents a life centered around God. Mom, which lifestyle is yours?”

“Well, I have no idea . . . that one I guess.”

By process of elimination, I pointed to the circle labeled self-directed life. I never heard of the other option labeled God-directed life. She turned the page and continued.

“Mom, do you want to pray this prayer?”

“OK,” I said. I knew the correct answer was yes.

She prayed the sinner’s prayer with me. Then, dumbstruck, we just looked at each other.

“Now what?” I asked.

“Take a Bible study,” she replied. About that, I knew nothing.

God Found Me

As I drove home, I had much to ponder in my heart. God must have reckoned that interaction to righteousness, because s oon my life began to change in unexpected ways.

https://campusministry.org/docs/tools/FourSpiritualLaws.pdf

Blue Christmas

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 13:22:25 GMT

Dear God, I hate Christmas.

When I think of celebrating Christmas, sadness wraps around me like a heavy, drab coat. Commercials show sleigh rides and singing choirs, but my home has always been filled with arguments, complaints, and drunken relatives. Christmas joy remains an elusive dream about a happy family joined together by loving hearts for a meal of turkey with all the trimmings.

Instead, endless difficulties dash my hopes. Why separation? Where do I hide from the mounting bills? How do I make sense of my fragmented life?

In the midst of all this chaos, I want to scream, "Why doesn't anybody care?"

This holiday season, instead of love and laughter, dreadful hollow days and lonely nights await. I'll sit home alone with a peanut butter sandwich on stale bread.

God, with all hope lost how do I survive the month of December?

My friend Elizabeth wrote this letter to God, but I know how she feels. I experienced loneliness at Christmas because of divorce. Bad things aren't supposed to happen at Christmas! The day life should be perfect. The day families should be happy. The epitome-day of celebrating.

Have you every suffered through Christmas alone, sad, or angry at Grinchy people and unmanageable circumstances in your life? What do you do? Where do you go with all those difficult emotions that don't match a Hallmark Christmas?

Psalm 55:17 NLT

Morning, noon, and night

I cry out in my distress,

and the Lord hears my voice.

When my heart breaks, I cry out to God, He listens. He answers me. He will answer you, too.

"My precious daughter, I hear you. Every difficult emotion and disappointment you express concerns Me.

"The depth of your sorrow at Christmas stirs My compassion. As you suffer, My heart breaks, too. Your dysfunctional family behaved worlds apart from My intention. But don't lose heart, My precious one. As you mourn your fragmented life, I am here to comfort you and provide for your needs. I will lead you to peaceful streams and renew your strength. I promise to protect you and guide you along a new path until your life overflows with blessings.

Psalm 42:5a

Why am I so discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God.

"Just as I spoke meaning into emptiness when I created the world, I am eager to transform your life into a purposeful journey. If you are ready to put aside all that has passed and find hope, then I have the perfect Christmas present for you tucked into a true story written by a doctor named Luke. Curl up with me now as I share--My heart to yours.

"Once upon a time, long, long ago, I sent My angel Gabriel to visit a young woman named Mary, who was engaged to a man named Joseph.

"The angel spoke to Mary, "Greetings to you highly favored woman. The Lord is with you. Mary, startled by the visitation, wondered what the angel meant.

"Gabriel said, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son and name him Jesus. He will be great among men and shall be called 'Son of the Most High' for the Lord God will give him the throne of his Father. He will reign forever. His Kingdom will never end.

"Mary, confused by the angel's words, asked, 'How could this happen since I am a virgin?

"Gabriel answered, ' The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of God Almighty will overshadow you.

The Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. For nothing is impossible with God.

"Mary said, 'I am the Lord's servant. Let it be as you say." The angel left Mary to her own thoughts as she praised the Lord.

"So it came to pass . . . during the third trimester of Mary's pregnancy Joseph took her to Bethlehem to register for a census required by the laws of those times. While they were there, Mary gave birth to her firstborn, a son, and they named him Jesus.

As you read my blog you may be thinking, "Why would God tell me this story? What does my blue Christmas have to do with the birth of a baby named Jesus a million years ago?

This story, called The Gospel of Luke, reveals the true meaning and mystery of Christmas. The truth is, these events occurred to restore your relationship with God. Jesus was born fully human to a woman named Mary, conceived by God Almighty through the Holy Spirit. He grew into a man who never sinned. The day Jesus was born marked the day God came from Heaven to earth for you.

Jesus is God's Christmas present to you. Will you accept His gift?

https://www.gotquestions.org/four-spiritual-laws.html

***This blog is an excerpt from my book Dear God I'm Desperate: Women Have Issues. God Has Answers.

https://www.amazon.com/Dear-God-Desperate-Jeanne-LeMay

Blinded By Denial

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 19:17:59 GMT

Blinded by Denial

During a women's conference, I heard a speaker's testimonial about her abusive marriage. I trembled and cried

as I related to every detail of her experience. Her words confirmed my deepest fear--abuse also resided in my home .

Denial of the facts had protected me from facing difficult emotions for many years, but now the reality of abuse in my marriage surfaced. As confusion mixed with fear and sadness bombarded my heart, my rose colored glasses fell away and revealed the ruins of my life. Nobody would believe me if I shared my experiences. My husband, charismatic and successful, portrayed the image of the ideal man pictured in every woman's dreams.

What is Denial?

Denial, a common coping mechanism, protected me from pain. By ignoring the overwhelming evidence I'd seen in behaviors and scary experiences, I avoided difficult emotions . I could not face the shame of a failed marriage. While dysfunction was obvious t o my children and others who truly had my best interests at heart, I created a false reality by pretending everything was fine. Before I married, one friend had warned me that my husband had anger issues.

I refused to accept the truth and dismissed her exhortation, s wept off my feet by his flattery.

Cry for Help.

As guilt (common for victims) gripped my heart, I looked toward heaven. "God, what should I do? Will You help me?"

God Heard. God Answered.

In the midst of my desperation, God's still small voice pierced the silence.

"I see your troubles, and I feel your pain. Disappointment after disappointment dashed the high hopes you had for your marriage. I promise to shield your heart from fear and give you courage as you face the truth. With your veil of denial now lifted, My work to restore your soul can begin. No situation is too big for my power to change. I will make a way, even though right now there seems to be no way."

"As you begin this journey of recovery, I will blanket you with My love and tender care. Trust Me to lead you on a new path

to heal your brokenness and rebuild your life. As you turn your focus from your daily troubles toward Me, I will guide you.

For I know the plans I have for you--plans for a good future filled with hope. So, t ake My hand precious daughter. W ith Me at your side as your strong foundation, you will soon thrive."

Seek God with All Your Heart

Has your heart quickened reading this blog? Who has broken your heart? What are the circumstances and problems you've endured? What resources could provide support as you face the harsh possibility of abuse in your own life?

A s you reach out to God for help, He promises to provide a lamp to your feet and a light for your path. Starting today,

won't you please join me in seeking God's answers as you take baby-steps forward? Nothing is too difficult for Him.

Untangling My Dysfunctional Life

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 19:38:43 GMT

Untangling My Dysfunctional Life

Dysfunctional Family Patterns

I spent many hours, months, and years trying to figure out why my marriage failed. I discovered the problems were

rooted in dysfunctional patterns established during my childhood.

As a child I experienced lack of emotional care because Daddy died. Through no fault of his own, from the time

cancer attacked his body, he was unavailable to meet my emotional or spiritual needs. During the years of his illness,

a taxing season, Mother cared for him with every ounce of her energy. After Daddy died, she struggled with depression. Trauma and shame enveloped my family. As a eight year old without nurturing throughout our family crisis and beyond,

I withdrew.

Feeling abandoned by her husband and burdened to care for three young children alone, Mother exercised unreasonable control without flexibility to cope with the daily challenges of parenting . She ruled our home with an authoritarian approach-- my way or the highway. With my feelings and opinions silenced or criticized, I spent my childhood trying to please my mother in order to avoid her wrath. The pattern of people-pleasing dominated my personality. Full-blown codependency developed.

“When families fail to provide for a child’s emotional needs, dysfunctional communication patterns form that limit one’s expression of feelings and needs. When a person learns their needs are not important, low self-esteem and unsatisfying relationships develop.” ( University of Illinois Counseling Center )

How did I navigate the world around me with no healthy relational skills?

Relationally impaired, trying to figure out how to function i n school and with peers, I remained silent. Lacking self-confidence and feeling inferior, I cowered to avoid criticism from teachers and other children. Whenever a teacher

called my name to answer a question, I slumped in my seat dumbstruck. Blood rushed to my head from embarrassment.

This pattern continued throughout grade school. Repeated in middle school. Remained entrenched during high school. And followed me off to college. I never once answered a teacher's question. Emotional neglect rendered me mute.

How did I navigate adulting?

As an adult, I struggled to find my voice. Insensitivity to my feelings and perceptions as a child inhibited the development of confidence in myself, others, and the world. This erosion of trust carried into adulthood. I doubted my own worth which had never been validated, and relationships suffered. With the dye cast, I entered adulthood with no communication skills, fearful of criticism from everyone, hell-bent on pleasing others due to fear of rejection. Unfortunately, I attracted critical, controlling, difficult people. I wasted my adult life trying to please narcissistic men which led to painful failures. Because I learned nothing as a child about how to develop healthy relationships, as an adult I repeated the dysfunctional patterns established in my family of origin.

Normal not healthy

Failed relationships became so painful, I cried out to God for help. "Lord help me. Why do relationships always hurt so deeply? What am I doing wrong?" In His kindness and mercy, He began to uncover the root of my problems and led me

to counselors to retrain my thinking into healthy patterns. I began to discover my true identity and value, which had died with Daddy.

God answered my prayer. He held my hand as I started this journey of recovery. He revealed this life-changing TRUTH:

My relationships seemed “normal” because they were familiar, but they were not healthy. In fact, most of my relationships

were self-destructive. I had no idea how to untangle the relational hairball I’d created. How could I stop the heartache and pain? How would I learn new ways to relate? Could I ever overcome my self-doubts and low self-esteem? Until God disclosed the root cause of my pain, nothing could change.

Characteristics of healthy relationships

"In healthy families, children grow up in environments which help them feel worthwhile and valuable. They learn that

their feelings and needs are important and can be expressed. Children growing up in such supportive environments

learn to form healthy, open relationships in adulthood.” ( University of Illinois Counseling Center )

Little by little, God orchestrated the steps I needed to cope and change. As I learned more about emotional abuse,

I began to understand how the tragedy of my childhood established patterns that impacted my relationships in adulthood. Forgiveness became the key that unlocked God's answers and redirected the trajectory of my life from

abuse and victimization to freedom. Like untangling a ball of yarn, I found a starting point and begin the process of unraveling the destructive issues knitted into my life.

Each of my blogs reveals a snippet of my journey from dysfunctional strife toward healthy living.

How to identify emotional abuse in your life: Take this QUIZ ( Heartwise Counseling )

Living a Nightmare

Fri, 24 Sep 2021 16:38:33 GMT

With my husband out of town, I woke up earlier than usual feeling relaxed. Reflecting on our marriage, I recalled the first time I felt afraid of him.

My precious kitty had developed skin cancer on her soft pink nose due to sun exposure. Tears had burned my eyes with the thought of euthanasia. Needing empathy, I expressed my concerns to my husband. Who knew that could happen to a cat?

Kitty had been a skinny, straggly, stray, begging daily for food and affection. I allowed my children to pet her, but insisted we were not in the market for a pet. We simply called her Kitty—by not naming her we would not grow attached. When my neighbor observed that the cat was pregnant, I knew I couldn't turn my back on the poor thing, and we officially adopted Kitty.

Soon Kitty had four babies. The pretty calico soon developed a mean streak. The yellow tabby with big feet brought such laughter that my kindergartner named him Proud-Walker. The runt we called Cutie. A neighbor’s child claimed the unnamed fourth kitten.

Of course, anyone with young children and a litter of kittens knows how those kids wear down any mother begging to keep them all. No. But I did cave with keeping Cutie along with her mother, Kitty. My kids had those two pets as bedfellows their entire childhoods. By the time Kitty got skin cancer, they were busy teenagers with a lifetime of memories, so the diagnosis hit hard.

Heartsick, I faced the decision of euthanasia.

Pouring out my heartache to my husband, I expected sympathy, a hug, comfort. Instead, he said, “Take her to the vet. They will do it—then put her in a plastic bag and throw her out.” He didn’t skip a beat, rather went about his important day without a flinch.

Horrified, I felt sick as if I’d been punched in the stomach.

As Kitty suffered more each day, I knew she needed an end to her suffering. I called the vet. The children and I went to the dreaded appointment with our scared Kitty wrapped in a soft blanket. The doctor, filled with compassion, performed the necessary deed. Rewrapping our limp Kitty in her blanket, we drove home. Other than digging a hole for the burial, my husband didn't speak or participate in our little funeral. The girls and I wept.

That night, the nightmares began. In the dream, when I died, my husband wrapped me in a plastic bag and threw me out. I woke up screaming in horror. I felt helpless. Violated. With the dream recurring night after night, I asked my doctor to prescribe sleeping pills.

The experience seems as if it occurred yesterday. The recollection triggers difficult emotions. At the time, I lacked education about emotional abuse—my normal.

What I know now that I didn’t know then . . .

• Emotional abuse may lead to chronic pain, depression and anxiety.

• Emotional abuse occurs when a person’s words instill fear.

• Emotional abuse occurs when your spouse remains indifferent to your pain.

• The sleeping pills led to a dependency on prescription drugs.

This experience, while unhealthy, was my "normal." Until I realized I had a problem, God could not teach me His ways. Until I learned the dynamics of abuse and dysfunction, I could not learn how to relate in healthy relationships. God led me on a long journey of healing and recovery. With his loving arms around me, and by His almighty power, my life has been transformed from a helpless victim to a woman of strong faith seeking to fulfill His purposes for my life--God pleasing instead of people-pleasing.

If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, please join me in pursuit of God, recovery, and transformation.

Here's my number one resource--Life Recovery Bible.

https://www.tyndale.com/sites/liferecovery/

What is Emotional Abuse?

Tue, 10 Aug 2021 19:28:15 GMT

Welcome to my journey through emotional abuse. God used my difficult experiences to teach me the dynamics of toxic relationships and led me to healing and recovery. If you recognize any of these behaviors in your relationships, won't you join me in recovering the life that God, your loving Father, intended for you?

What is Emotional Abuse?

Abuse is any behavior designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and assaults. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse and constant criticism, as well as subtle tactics including intimidation, manipulation and refusal to ever be pleased. Emotional abuse systematically wears away the victim's self-confidence, sense of worth, trust in their own perceptions.

Emotional abuse may be obvious like berating, belittling and destructive criticism, or less obvious under the guise of teaching, guidance, or advice. If the intent of abuser is to control and subjugate the victim, the victim losses their sense of value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating harm that may be far deeper and more lasting than scars from physical abuse.

Types of Emotional Abuse:*

1. Aggressing - Aggressive behaviors are usually direct and obvious with motive to control and demean. The abuser assumes a one-up position as a parent would relate to a child, undermining equality and autonomy essential to healthy adult relationships.

Examples:

Accusing

Threatening

Ordering

Destructive criticism

Cross-examination

2. Denying - Behavior intended to distort and undermine victim invalidates their perceptions of reality. Also, withholding information, refusing to listen and communicate, and withdrawing emotionally as punishment (silent treatment) robs victim of their own voice and identity. A third form of denying is countering where the abuser views the victim as an extension of themselves and disallows feelings and viewpoints differing from their own.

Examples:

Abuser says, "I never said that." "I don't know what you're talking about."

Silent treatment.

Refusing to answer.

Leaving the room instead of resolving conflict.

Withdrawing affection.

King Solomon explains the concept of denying in Proverbs 26:19:

"Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon is someone who lies to a friend and then says, "I was only joking."

3. Minimizing - Abuser questions victim's perception and emotional experience or reaction to an event deeming them faulty, wrong, or untrustworthy. By trivializing the abuser communicates that what another person has said or done is unimportant. With minimizing, the victim's perceptions of reality are invalidated.

Example:

Abuser says, "You're crazy."

Dismissing feelings

Abuser says, "You shouldn't feel that way."

*Summary of Emotional Abuse adapted from the booklet entitled, "Emotional Abuse " available from University of Illinois, Urbana-champaign Counseling Center, Department of Student Affairs booklet entitled, Emotional Abuse."

Abuse Exposed

Tue, 20 Jul 2021 17:23:08 GMT

Abuse Exposed

Defeated and in search of relief from relentless angst at home, I decided to attend a Christmas concert. Feeling isolated and alone, I envied the happy families filling every seat in the auditorium. The man to my left tipped his hat, acknowledging my existence as he settled into his seat close to his pretty wife. The stranger to my right struggled to situate her brood of excited children. Fidgeting with a torn cuticle, I forced a smile to reassure the frazzled mother. With Christmas around the corner, shouldn’t I feel joyful, too?

As the audience settled, the lights dimmed to signal the beginning of the program. The choir strolled toward the stage, lifting their voices in beautiful harmony. The familiar Christmas hymns soothed the tension in my heart, and I relaxed for the first time in months.

A break in the singing allowed for testimonies from church members. The first woman to speak recounted her recovery from years of severe depression. Next, a man explained how Jesus delivered him from years of addiction to pornography. The third speaker, a woman in her mid-thirties, seemed calm as she began to speak:

"My name is Laurie. A year ago, a friend brought me a packet of in formation from her nursing re-certification class. I opened the packet, startled to find a brochure entitled Domestic Violence.

“Jan, why did you bring this to me? Paul doesn’t hit me.”

With compassion and pleading in her eyes, Jan replied, ‘Laurie, please, just read the information and then decide—take it or leave it.’

The literature indicated that a person could be victimized by emotional, mental and spiritual abuse as well as physical abuse. As I read further, I found my own experiences within the facts, examples and stories.

“My husband had isolated me in a shell of an existence, little by little cutting me off from friends and loved ones. When I arrived home from work, he expected me to literally sit by his side. He did not permit me to read a book in another room. Under his pressure, I left my church to attend his, because he threatened to move our family to another state unless I complied.

With false accusations of unfaithfulness, he shamed me. His constant criticism concerning my inability to keep house and raise the children, confirmed my worthlessness to him—and to myself. I felt powerless. The reality that defined my marriage hit like a thunderbolt. Abuse had raised its ugly head.

I shared what I learned with my mother and sisters. Shamed by their doubt of my revelations, I decided to find professional help to make sense of my life.

As I entered the counselors office for my first session, my hands felt like ice cubes. Fear that my husband would find out about my attempt to get help caused my body to shudder. Although my pulse raced, I pressed forward through tears and heartache, sharing my story. The counselor suggested I consider separation and develop a safety plan . With my heart shredded, I drove home, fearful of what I’d face next.”

After Laurie shared her story and returned to her seat, my body trembled. No wonder I felt beaten--my experiences were similar to hers. As the happy audience resumed their singing, I sobbed and cried out to God. “Lord, with abuse exposed in my life, too, what do I do next?"

After the concert, I struggled to regain my composure. Feeling vulnerable and ashamed, I approached Laurie to ask for help. When she greeted me with a compassionate hug. When she agreed to meet with me and help me find a counselor,

I felt a flicker of hope.

This is what I learned from Laurie:

"Abuse is any behavior designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and assaults. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse and constant criticism, as well as subtle tactics including intimidation, manipulation and refusal to ever be pleased."

"Emotional abuse systematically wears away the victim's self-confidence, sense of worth, trust in their own perceptions.

With abuse exposed in my life through Laurie's story, God began my journey of recovery from brokenness, heartache and codependency. Little by little, He revealed what I needed to learn about abusive relationships in order to change the trajectory of my life.

1Engel, Beverly, MFCC The Emotionally Abused Woman: Overcoming Destructive Patterns and Reclaiming Yourself.

New York: Fawcett Columbine, 1992.

How to Reduce Anxiety

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 16:27:48 GMT

How to Reduce Anxiety

When I hear the news about the rapid spread of Coronavirus, my faith seems smaller than a mustard seed. Anxiety grips my heart. Worry torments my mind. As the stock market plummets daily, splotchy red welts spread across my body. Family demands drain every drop of energy. Chaos, panic, and unemployment abound. Everything I hear regarding the coronavirus seems scary. The struggle is real.

Dr. Phil, author, psychologist and TV host of a well-known forum on mental health, offers help by distinguishing anxiety from fear. Best-selling Christian author and pastor Max Lucado teaches on the topic. He says, “the presence of anxiety of anxiety is unavoidable, but the prison of anxiety is optional.”

In Philippians 4:6-7, the Apostle Paul admonishes believers to practice these three steps which I find helpful when anxiety imprisons my heart.

• Pray. I grab my cup of green tea infused with honey and meet with God. Daily I flood my journal with my raw emotions. I spew every concern that causes me to feel anxious, afraid or vulnerable during these unprecedented times. He hears my cry for help and responds with tender loving care. After all, I am His precious daughter, and He has compassion for me.

• Petition. I present all of my requests to God—I swallow my pride and share needs that cause me to feel vulnerable. I express the desires of my heart. Then, I listen for His still small voice by reading His love letters to me—the Holy Scriptures. He always answers. He equips me for every unknown situation that lies ahead.

• Praise. Anxiety challenges my ability to o express gratitude for blessings, so I think small. Remembering the warmth of sun on my face. The sound of family laughter. Friends. God’s grace and mercy.

This pandemic has disrupted our lives in unimaginable ways, but don’t despair or lose hope. God sees our anxiety and understands every fear. His character remains trustworthy in the midst of our troubles. With Him on our side, we stand on a proven, firm foundation. He delights in caring for us as we take His hand and cling to Him. Focus on God's rock-solid promises instead of swirling circumstances. When we tether our hearts to His, a divine exchange occurs—He takes our anxiety and blankets our hearts with His perfect peace.

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

How to Cope: Loneliness

Thu, 09 Jul 2020 16:15:44 GMT

How to Cope: Lonelinesss

As I sit alone yet another day, sadness wraps around me like a heavy, drab coat. Television reporters bring a constant barrage of bleak updates on the spread of coronavirus. Authorities forbid me to go to work. Closed stores and empty streets reflect the unprecedented isolation caused by the Covid 19 pandemic. Meeting friends for coffee seems a distant memory. I feel helpless and alone. Without people to share my experiences, my life lost a sense of purpose.

How do I anchor my faith when loneliness creeps in to steal my joy?

Cry out to God.

Using a journal to pen my overwhelming emotions, I share my loneliness with God while I play uplifting Christian songs.

As God listens to my heartache, the Holy Spirit comforts me and lifts my spirit and the difficult feelings gently subside.

Trust God .

When I stop to identify the multitude of character traits of God, even in the midst of crisis, I feel secure in His loving care. God’s character includes omnipresence—He never leaves me alone no matter how my emotions mislead me. He also gifted me with the Holy Spirit, my constant companion and source of comfort.

Search the Bible for Hope.

I search God’s Word for scriptures applicable to my feelings of loneliness. Then, I meditate on those verses to renew my mind and calm my emotions until I believe His promises.

Sometimes we believe loneliness will last forever, but no matter how helpless we feel, there are ways to break out of the prison of loneliness. We must take action. We either choose to continue the downward spin toward discouragement and depression, or we place our confidence in God’s promises. H e never leaves us alone to deal with life’s struggles.

"As you walk through this storm, hold your head up high. Don’t be afraid of the dark pandemic that invades our world. At the end of the storm, you will find a golden sky and the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind. Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart, and you’ll never walk alone. You’ll never walk alone."

Andre Rieu You’ll Never Walk Alone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3aGlKYlEiY

God Where Are You?

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 16:37:46 GMT

Where is God in the midst of a pandemic?

Everything familiar has been cancelled. Beaches closed. Broadway plays shut down. Easter services interrupted. I’m prohibited from visiting Mother to to celebrate her 96th birthday. My daughter lives in New York City—the epicenter of the coronavirus epidemic. School closings forced children to forego their classrooms for distance learning. Grocery stores lack toilet paper. Journalists raise doubts about the motives and decisions of our government. The stock market drop threatens my economic security. My emotions vacillate between fear and panic. Uncertainty concerning the outcome of the coronavirus weighs heavily on my mind. Doubts about God seep into my mind and disrupt my faith.

Dr. Phil, psychologist with a proven tract record of concern for our mental health, suggests we deal with the facts to help our emotional well-being. Max Lucado, one of my favorite Christian authors, reminds us that trouble does not mean the absence of God. The book of Hebrews, written to encourage believers in difficult times, defines faith as assurance of unseen realities—absolute truth. Based on what we learn in Hebrews, our faith that begins as hope can be trusted in trying times.

By faith, Noah obeyed God’s warning regarding the flood, and built an ark. God met the needs of his family.

By faith, God’s people crossed through the Red Sea as if walking on dry land. God parted the waters.

By faith, Moses left Egypt, moving forward as though he could see the invisible God. God delivered His people.

By faith, the prostitute Rahab, in the face of danger, welcomed the spies into her home. God protected.

By faith, God’s people circled Jericho for seven days, and the walls toppled. God defeated their enemy.

By faith, Abraham followed God’s call to offer his only son as a sacrifice. God saved his son.

By faith, God’s people conquered kingdoms, closed the mouth of hungry lion, and sent opposing armies into panicked flight. They accepted torture, suffered mockery and endured prison. The faithful were stoned, swallowed up by a whale and killed by the sword. Some were penniless, afflicted, and tormented. Others wandered across deserts, crossed mountains, and lived in the caves, cracks, and crevasses of the earth. During every trial, God remained.

Throughout history and in every circumstance, God kept His covenant promises and proven Himself trustworthy to protect and provide for His beloved children. By faith, ordinary people like us endured hardships worse than the Coronavirus. They believed with firm conviction that God loved them, and they trusted Him to keep His promises in times of despair. As we endure this season of testing unprecedented in our lifetime, we are called to surrender our doubts to our heavenly father and prove ourselves faithful to Him.

By faith, I accept the sovereignty of God during the uncertainty of this pandemic. By faith, I believe God’s unseen promise to protect and provide for me. By faith, I choose to trust God with what I cannot see.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ezDEZaCuzXQ

Max Lucado

Matt 11:28

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIjWEWiezMY

Dr. Phil deal with the facts

Lauren Daigle I will trust in You

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_aVFVveJNs